Chapter 4.7 – Am I real?

Note: Parts of the chapter as it was first posted on the EA forum had some parts censored a little to adapt to the forums. This is the original version, so it does not.

Even though the AI suggested rating for this chapter is 'only' Teen (13+) I think this is probably the toughest read yet. So now you have been warned.





In Flames - Call My Name.
(Another song blocked from being embedded on blogspot).

Why don't you call my name?
Let it bounce between the walls
Through the halls of time
A sign for me to go by
So find me the wormhole
So that I can be by your side

The next morning...




Aaron: Maybe I will be a journalist when I grow up..




Natalie exits the bathroom and walks towards the kitchen counter.
“Morning, kids! Time for breakfast!”
“I have already had breakfast” says Billy.




Natalie (to Billy): I will take you for a visit to the hospital today. There is someone there that wants to talk to you!



Billy: To the hospital? But I'm not sick, mom..

Aww, he's started to call her mom. How cute. :)




Natalie:No, none of us are sick! It's just a man there being a little nosy. He thinks you're not real, but we will show him!




“I am real, mom!” says Billy. How rude of the doctor to give the kid an existensial crisis at such a young age...




Natalie: Of course you're real, Billy! Come along now, who knows, we might just have a long day ahead of us...




Taxi driver: Where are you going today, ma'am?

Natalie: We're going to the hospital. Just have to wait for Billy, he had to use the bathroom.




As they came to the hospital, Natalie's phone rang again. Who could it be this time?
It was Birgit, one of the nuns. Natalie didn't want to talk, she had an appointment with the doctor.




Dr. Spagliari: Hello Natalie. Good to see you again. Did you bring Billy with you, like we talked about last time?

Natalie: Oh yes, he's right behind me out in the hallway.

Dr. Spagliari: Splendid, please have a seat.

Dr. Spagliari was a little surprised when a little boy actually entered the office. He wasn't really expecting that...




Dr. Spagliari: Oh, hello... hi there, you must be Billy? Please, take a seat...

Dr. Spagliari's eyes followed Billy with amazement and peculiar interest as he was about to sit down, and then Natalie's phone rang.. again...




Natalie: Excuse me doctor, my phone just keeps ringing all the time.. never a quiet moment, I tell you!

Dr. Spagliari: I see that as a good thing. Must mean you have a lot of friends that care for you, Natalie.




Dr. Spagliari: So, Billy.. can you perhaps, tell me a little bit more about yourself? How old are you, Billy?




Billy: I am... seven years old, 4 months and 13.. no, 14 days old, doctor!

Dr. Spagliari: *chuckles* That's very impressive, Billy! And how did you come to live with Natalie, Isaac and Aaron?

Billy: I came to them in the mailbox!




Dr. Spagliari: You.... came to them in the mailbox?




Billy: Yes.. I was only a little plush toy at first, but I remember everything! Natalie wasn't very nice in the beginning, she was mean. She didn't feed Isaac and Aaron, and they were always alone and crying! After they had been crying and screaming for a while, she would just go up to their room and yell at them! I was often alone in that room too, with the lights out and she didn't feed me!

Billy (continues): So I told my teddy bear to call up Mr. Ghostlight to scare Natalie straight! It worked for a while, and she became nice. Then she took my teddy bear to the forest, but he came back! Then I got older and learned to walk and talk! And then Aaron brought me a potion from an old witch, and I became just like I am now!




Natalie became a little flustered and embarassed from some of the details that Billy shared, her cheeks starting to feel a little warmer than usual.




Dr. Spagliari: I must say.. you have quite an imagination there, Billy! But you also said some things that are a little concerning...

Then Dr. Spagliari turns to Natalie with a more serious look on his face.




Dr. Spagliari:Tell me, Natalie.. is there any truth to what Billy just told me?




"Oh, everything I just said is true doctor!" Billy exclaims.

Dr. Spagliari: Billy, Billy, my boy... there is a room with toys out in the hallway on the second floor! Please go and talk the receptionist in the lobby, he will be more than happy to show you the way! Me and your mom is going to have a little talk now...

With Billy out of the room, the doctor started asking questions..

Dr. Spagliari: So.. Natalie.. Billy just mentioned a few things that concerns me. Is it true that you left your kids starving and alone when they were younger?




Natalie stiffens up and stares blankly into the air.




Dr. Spagliari: Natalie.. please answer my question. Did you neglect your own children when they were younger?




"I..." Natalie started. "I don't... I didn't.. I.. "




Natalie: I never harmed my own children! Billy is lying! How can he know!? He wasn't real then, he was just a toy!!




Dr. Spagliari: Ok, calm down, Natalie.. I never accused you of harming your own children, but neglect is still a very serious thing that I must..

Natalie became more worked up, and jumped out of her chair.




Natalie That's what he used to say!! That we were just little toys!!




Dr. Spagliari: Who.. who said that, Natalie?

Natalie hears a yelling voice and a door slamming shut in her mind..




Natalie: My m.. my ex.... he threatened to.. if we told anyone, he said he was going to hurt Isaac if I told anyone...




Dr. Spagliari: Going to what, Natalie?




Natalie (begins talking inchoherently): ..he was going to dump us in the river, and that we.... that In... that uh.... that Isaac shouldn't have been born..




Picture: The Corbo Gleb river floating peacefully through town in the pale moon light..

Natalie: ...about how he used to... how he used to always.. to always beat me.. I got.. bruises all over and it hurt... ..so bad..

Natalie starts crying.




Natalie: I managed to get out..., but I was so lost, I couldn't.. I didn't know what to.. I never wanted..

Dr. Spagliori: It pains me to hear about this, Natalie. But you did get out of there with Isaac, and then..?




Natalie: And then Aaron was born.. and I.. I tried my.. best sometimes..., but I just couldn't..




Natalie:..I can't.. it was all my fault of course, but I can't ... why I didn't ... like a mother should, I was terrible....




Natalie (talks incoherently):..and sometimes I hated.... myself, and wanted to.. I had already made plans on how to do it, it had to ... happen at night, I wanted to...end it all  ...of course and then all the..pain..and trouble would be over...  I was so lost...



Dr. Spagliori: So,so Natalie... I am really terribly sorry about all of this and it aches my heart to hear about what you have gone through. You should have gotten much more help much sooner... I will immediately set you up for an appointment with our psychiatrist Dr. Lovensteen, and I promise you will be in the best of hands.




And so he did, knowing that he had to let Natalie go. Dr. Spagliori, as good of a doctor he was, he was not a specialist in dealing with trauma and abuse victims, so the best he could do was to further her to someone that was. Though he couldn't help the feeling that there was something about Natalies story that didn't seem right. Her feelings looked genuine enough, but still... he wanted to tread carefully here. For now, he thought, the wisest thing to do based on everything she had said, was to transfer her to a psychiatrist that should be better able to figure out what it was that plagued her and how to solve it...

~~ 

Let it bounce between the walls
Through the halls of time
A sign for me to go by
So find me the wormhole
So that I can be by your side

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